Don't want to read the rant? Look at low-quality cellphone pictures instead!

They finally got onstage.

More performance, yay.

This is the CD signing. As you might be able to tell, I was incredibly giddy.

The Guggenheim Grotto's sound check.

This is the sound booth at a moment when no one was there. I wanted to go over and ogle the sound equipment but I suspect if I had, people would have returned rather hastily.

You think you get bad audiences?

This post is a rant on not what to do as an audience member, opening band, or sound technician.

Yesterday morning I found out one of my favorite bands, The Guggenheim Grotto, was playing in WTMD’s First Thursday* event. I of course went to see them, getting there about an hour early. The concert was outdoors, at the foot of the real Washington memorial. The one in D.C. doesn’t count because 1) it doesn’t have a statue of Washington at the top, and 2) because if it did, I doubt Washington would be wearing a toga.** But back to the concert. When my parents and I got there, sound checks for the opening band, Pressing Strings, were being done. Based on the volume, we decided to sit a little back from the stage. This proved to be a very bad decision.

As it got closer to 5:30, the park started to fill with camp chairs, blankets, and people asking each other if they cash to buy cotton candy and beer from stalls that had been set up. Once most of the space in the park had been filled, a group of people set up their camp chairs about a foot in front of where I was sitting on the ground, effectively blocking my view. The worst part? If they had set up one chair a few inches to the right, which they had room to do, they wouldn’t have. They then spent the rest of the evening talking about radio stations.

Prize quote: “But I’ve already pledged to NPR. Can I still pledge to WTMD?”

The concert started with our lovely local band, Pressing Strings. Before we start critiquing(and by critiquing, I mean criticizing) them, let’s review what an opening band is supposed to be. An opening band is a group that has a similar sound to the main act, and plays for about a half hour in order to get the audience excited about being at the concert. Now Pressing Strings was introduced as a mix of acoustic rock, blues, and reggae. The reggae turned out to be the most obvious element. Now, listen to this song by the Guggenheim Grotto. Does this sound anything like reggae? Not only that, Pressing Strings was horrible at talking to the audience. It felt like after every song they said something along the lines of “First Thursday is a great event, it’s great to be here, our mailing list is over there, and you can buy our CD as well, are you excited about Guggenheim Grotto?” After the third repetition of this, I would have been excited about watching comatose patients undergoing group therapy, just so Pressing Strings would get off the stage. It took them a good hour and a half to leave.

If their music was decent, I wouldn’t be complaining quite so much, but I believe the reason they repeated this spiel was so that the audience could tell where one song ended and another started. Remember how I said an opening band is supposed to get the audience excited about being there? This is usually accomplished by playing upbeat(or at least uptempo) songs that are fun to listen to. Not only did it all sound the same, Pressing Strings’ music was amazingly low-key. I think this may have contributed(though I severely doubt it was the sole cause) to the audience’s horrific behavior.

The audience seemed to think that these bands were the outdoor equivalent of their stereo. They almost completely ignored the stage. I saw many who were sitting with their backs to it. Everyone talked loudly to their friends, everyone was constantly getting up to get more cotton candy and beer(obviously since the members of The Guggenheim Grotto are Irish there has to be beer, right?). And what do the sound technicians do to deal with this noise? They turned the mics down. Yes, down. Audience members, these bands are coming here specifically to entertain you, they don’t even get paid for this gig. They’re not only sacrificing the time they’re on stage, they’re giving you the time and money it took to get here, the time and work it took to rehearse, the time it took to set up all their instruments and do the sound check. Pay attention to them, or leave. The most painful moment was when The Guggenheim Grotto told the audience they could sing along with the chorus of their song Fee Da Da Dee, and no one did. I don’t think the majority of the audience even noticed.

So, now that I’ve spent about 750 words on complaints, I will go into the good part of this concert. Three words. The Guggenheim Grotto. They were incredible. They were incredibly funny, and so so talented. I don’t think I’ve ever heard two people create such a full sound before. They were signing CDs afterwards, and I bought one specifically so that I could tell them they did a great job. I also signed up for their mailing list. Pressing Strings, take notes. Mentioning the CDs and mailing list once, good, after every song, I won’t do it because you were so annoying about it.

To close off, were there way too many annoying people? Yes. Was it worth it? Definitely, but only because it was The Guggenheim Grotto. I left the concert all giddy and wishing I had a CD player on me. Please, everyone reading this, use it as a checklist of what not to do, or this blog will rapidly become extremely repetitive.

*WTMD is Towson University's radio station. They host First Thursdays, free outdoor concerts in West Mt. Vernon Park, which is in downtown Baltimore.
**Not kidding.

(Don't) Play it Again

As I mentioned in my first post on this blog, I was classically trained on the cello for a long time. I started when I was in elementary school. A local music organization came to visit my class and I begged my mum to sign me up for lessons. This was a fairly low stress environment, as, other than the teachers, the majority of people there were younger than 14, their instruments chosen for them. I stayed with this organization until I auditioned for a high school that specialized in the arts. I got in and went there for two years before transferring to another high school for my junior year. I kept my private lessons for that year. I stopped them when I went away to college, and “forgot” to sign up for lessons at my new school. Why? Because I’m sick of the standards the classical music community seems to hold.

The classical music community is resistant to anything new. There is a reason symphonies rarely play contemporary classical. You have to have a name like Mozart or Tchaikovsky to get your music played. And if you’re a musician, don’t even try to play something new unless you’ve been hailed as a prodigy or the best {fill in your instrument here} in the world. And while you’re playing the accepted music, make sure to play exactly like {musician who is associated with playing the piece}. I recently watched a YouTube video of one of my high school friends playing the first movement of Beethoven’s Waldstein Sonata*. I looked through the comments, and saw that they ranged from “great job!” posts to lengthy posts about how he was playing at the “wrong” tempo. One poster said “much better than arrau in my opinion.. just need a little more practice in some parts, and you will be the king of this piece :)”. The response to this encouraging post was “much better than Arrau? lol.” I am not saying that they should be saying that my friend was as good as Arrau, or that they shouldn’t be saying he was worse. I’m saying that there doesn’t need to be such a strong focus on comparing his performance to Arrau’s. This is his interpretation of the piece, not Arrau’s. Yet the classical community says Arrau’s interpretation is the only right one. 

Think of it this way. When a musician plays a piece originally performed by another, he is doing a cover. Let’s switch from classical music for a minute. I recently heard Marilyn Manson’s cover of the Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams(Are Made of This)”. His version did not sound like the Eurythmics’ for the very reason that the two artists have very different styles. Yet I wouldn’t say his version was bad(aside from being slightly annoyed that he didn’t pronounce the “s”s in “use” and “abuse”). I don’t see how I can even compare the two versions because they are so different. I can say I prefer one, but that preference is completely subjective. In classical music, however, we are not allowed to stray so far from the well-known version. But why? What’s the point in listening to any of the newer musicians if they sound exactly like the ones we already know?

While I was in my first high school, I saw more of the same. If you were playing the Elgar Cello Concerto, you had to play it like Jacqueline Du Pré. In fact, to the cellists at my school(myself unfortunately following in their lead), if you liked any classical cellist more than Jacqueline du Pré, you didn’t know what you were talking about. And heaven forbid if you’d never heard of her**.

The classical community isn’t just restrictive in its music, it’s restrictive in its appearance as well. Emilie Autumn, a classically trained violinist turned solo artist, was accepted to the Indiana University School of Music when she was 15 and left after two years due to “clashes” with the university over her style in dress and music. The message is clearly “if you won’t look right, if you won’t play right, don’t bother.”

Growing up in a family of performers, I always believed that the people in the arts are the most accepting, as they work in a field focused around self expression. However, as I have viewed more of the classical community I have realized that this broad generalization does not apply to everyone in the arts. The classical community is stuck in the past. The great composers that everyone knows are still only from previous centuries. New composers are shot down or ignored while we feign amazement that all our beloved composers weren't as well-known or liked until after their deaths. We forget that Bach and Mozart were once the ones doing new things, changing the classical genre drastically. It is this resistance to change that I believe threatens to doom the classical genre. The only way to keep a genre alive is to continue to make new music for it, to keep it evolving. Unless the classical community stops stifling its musicians and composers, the genre will fade out of the general public’s awareness. We’re sick of hearing the same old pieces played the same old way. We’ve already bought the CDs. Play us something new.

*Patrick Merrill plays the first movement of the Waldstein Sonata

**Jacqueline du Pré

Fighting the Manufactured Teen Pop Star (part 2)

So, quick update since I realized it's been a while since I mentioned this project. This is for the very good reason that it has slipped my mind. So, current thoughts on it. 

First of all, the band I'm in, The Scratches, has a different orchestration than is normally heard in this sort of song (we have piano, cello, violin, acoustic guitar/mandolin). So that's slowed me down on coming up with a melody and arrangement. 

Then there's the problem of the singer. The mainstream teenage pop song is only homosexual when the band or singer wants to make a big deal of how open-minded they are and/or be controversial (i.e. Katy Perry). So this song has to be sung by a guy. Although all the other members in The Scratches are guys, I still have a problem. The male pop star's voice is very specific, he has to sound young, is more likely to be a tenor, and possibly have a slight whine in his voice. Listen to the voices of the singers of Cute is What We Aim For, All-American Rejects, and Fall Out Boy for an idea of the stereotypical voice. Don't they all kind of sound the same? (I realize these bands are not classified under pop, but the voices of the singers are good examples.) Josh's voice is really deep, and sounds much older than the manufactured pop star does. I was told Hunter sang in the gang vocals for one of the songs we are currently recording (the backing track and gang vocals were recorded before I joined the band), but try as I might, I can only hear Josh and Shane (who is no longer in the band). As far as I can tell, he's a bit reluctant to sing. And Dan refuses to sing anything when he is not alone in his car. So, thinking this over, I came up with the idea that I could do the same sort of thing that Big Bad Voodoo Daddy did with their version of the song "Don't You Feel My Leg". That is, come up with a spoken intro of meeting someone, and the actual song consists of relating what the other person said.

Okay, yeah,  that's where I am now. I need to come up with a good intro in the character of the stereotypical popular high school girl. If anyone has any suggestions or ideas on the intro (or the song), feel free to comment with them.

Starting a Band Part 2 - Rehearsals

After you have members, you need two things - rehearsals and songs. Songs will be covered in the next post, because without rehearsal time, the songs don't matter. I realize the opposite can be said as well, but it is very easy to find songs to play, even if it comes down to rehearsing covers of songs you don't intend to perform. Just rehearsing these songs gives you and the other members of your band experience in how you work together, as well as a chance to experiment with your sound. But if you don't have rehearsals, you don't have a band.

The place you choose to rehearse in should have enough room to comfortably fit the entire band, its instruments, plus instrument cases, music stands, amps if you have electric instruments, and anything else you might need. For those bands with electric instruments, keep in mind that wherever you rehearse should have enough outlets. The area should be quiet enough that you can focus on playing, and it should also be at a time and/or in a place where you won't disturb other people nearby with your rehearsal. You also need to make sure the rehearsal spot is relatively convenient for all members to get to. Don't pick a spot that's more than an hour away from anyone, preferably no more than a half hour away. If it's hard to get to rehearsals, your band members will stop showing up.

Do your best to avoid changing rehearsal times around. Having rehearsal on different days and at different times each week is not only confusing, but practically guarantees rehearsals will never happen, as you will spend weeks trying to pin all of your band members down and get them to agree to a time. Start by deciding you will rehearse once a week, and pick a time that you can reasonably expect everyone to be able to make regularly. If your band decides later that it wants more rehearsals per week, and you can fit it in, go ahead, but I wouldn't recommend meeting less than once a week. Sometimes a band member won't be able to make rehearsal. Do not cancel rehearsal if at least two people can make it. In other words, if you and one other person are going to be there, you can still practice. Take advantage of rehearsals like these by taking more time on parts that the members there have been having trouble with, or just want a bit more practice on.

There is no point in trying to keep your band alive if you never rehearse. If this happens, you are not a band, you are a procrastination club whose members all happen to be musicians.

Starting a Band Part 1 - Members

At some point, whether we're musicians or not, classical or heavy metal, we all think it: "I want to be in a band." And why wouldn't we? We see the rock stars performing to hundreds of adoring fans at concerts, wearing what they want, acting how they want. They don't have a boring 9-5 job, they don't have to worry about how they're going to scrape together the money to pay this month's bills. For the non-musicians and the casual musicians, this is usually just a passing thought, but what about those of us who dream of it? Not just for the glamour and the easy life the media presents us with, but for the chance to perform, to make even just a few people happy for an hour or two, the adrenaline rush from hearing the audience applaud after a show.

The trouble is, while the steps for so many careers are all clearly laid out for us, doctor, teacher, engineer, we were never told how to be in a band. No one ever laid out how to start a band, how to find a band to join, none of it. The only information we were given was that we had to know how to play an instrument or sing, or both. But knowing this by itself won't get us anywhere. Getting started is the hardest part, and there are many easily-avoided traps that will hold you back if you're not prepared. This is the first of a trilogy of entries on some of the pitfalls I've run into time and again.

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The first thing you need, obviously, is other band members. The difficulty here is, it's easy to find casual musicians, but it's considerably harder to find people who are willing to commit hours out of each week for band rehearsal, individual practice, and whatever gigs you might get. It doesn't matter if he's your best friend, if he doesn't show up to rehearsal, if he doesn't know the songs, he doesn't belong in your band. And speaking of friends, don't only ask people you're friends with to be in your band. Ask around your school or workplace, post signs on a community bulletin board, let people know. There are also many find-a-musician sites online* where you can post a profile for free to find musicians in your area.

While finding people to be in your band, do not limit yourself to either the "standard"** or your own personal dream instrumentation. Use what you have. On the other hand, you don't have to use everything you have. If you think someone isn't skilled enough, doesn't fit your musical style, or even if their personality just rubs you the wrong way, don't be afraid to say no. Remember, it's your band. You have the final say on who gets to be in it. But what if everyone you've talked to sounds perfect to you and is friendly and you just have to have them? Do yourself a favor and resist temptation. If you have ten people in your band, it will be next to impossible to schedule rehearsal time to fit everyone's schedule.

In the end though, it all comes down to finding dependable, band-mates who can handle the music. They don't have to have been child prodigies(and if your songs require that level of training to play, you should probably take another look at them), they just need to be able to show up to rehearsal and practice on their own until they know the music. Make sure the other members are committed and hard-working at the start, and you'll make things a lot easier for yourself.

*joinmyband.co.uk has sections for both the UK and the US. bandmix.com is good for american musicians as well, but put your email address in the visible part of your profile, as they require you to get a paid membership before they'll let you contact other members through the site.
**lead guitar, rhythm guitar, bass, and drums

Music Lit Classes Kill My Love Of Music

First off, let me say, I think it is important for music students, wait, no, everybody who likes music, to listen to a wide range of music. I am not against that exposure. However, I do not like music lit classes. Maybe I've had the wrong teachers, but in every music lit class I've been in, there was more focus in analyzing the music to death than widening our musical taste and knowledge. I don't want to analyze single notes and why the composer might have used that note instead of this other one. I don't want to pick different phrases of music  and say which era/other composer/whatever influenced each one. By doing this, it takes the impact the music has on me away.

Anything we might say about any piece of music and why it is the way it is is just speculation. The only one who really knows is the composer, and even the composer may not have had a specific reason for picking the note they did. As an example, drawing from an english lit class, I remember having a book assigned on "how to read literature". The author wrote down all these different things that could be in stories and what they apparently always symbolized. The one that comes to mind is(and paraphrasing from memory here) "A key represents a penis, or a man's sexuality." Really? Does every author who mentions a key in their story think "This key is a symbol of male sexuality" when they type the word? In the same vein, does every composer think "Okay, this next phrase will be reminiscent of Mozart, to contrast this other phrase that is clearly influenced by the Baroque period"? I don't know about anyone else, but when I write music, I write what I think sounds good. I don't have some complex plan of fitting influences together.

Let's make music lit classes what they should be, an appreciation of music, a way to experience new music with our peers, and discuss it, yes, but please don't analyze it to pieces. That's not how music was intended to be listened to. The magic of it lies in the whole piece, not in individual notes.